¾ TIME A way to keep the band continuously out of step.
AIR The riving force behind brass instruments, but generally lacks in woodwinds.
ALTO SAXOPHONE A musical instrument that either plays very loud or not at all between squeaks.
ARC A shape flutes just can't seem to get.
ASSISTANT DRUM MAJOR Takes over for drum major when not available. Runs back to random positions on the 50 to direct “Lollipop”. Generally named Chantal.
ATTENTION Standing still while sticking out your butt aka squeezing the grape. Can only talk in whispers so that no captains or other leaders hear you.
BAIL That which one (often Michaela [me]) does on a wet field. Generally, the person who bails (the bailer) winds up on the ground (the bailee).
BAND CAMP: A time of gathering between most band geeks (including color guard) for six days during August where they learn how to hunt raccoons and sneak out of cabins in search of real food (such as the Pepsi machine, which brings together the biggest collection of 1's and quarters you've ever seen!)
BAND GEEK Someone who is very enthusiastic and involved in band. Willing to give up all free time.
BAND JACKET 1. Status symbol. 2. Proclamation of true geekdom.
BAND PARENTS The only parents that a band geek sees between August and December. The only reason the band is held together.
BAND PARTY A gathering of Band Geeks where they can wear their Band Jackets, play cards and capture-the-flag, and complain about the latest rehearsal and upcoming competitions.
BARI-SAXOPHONE An instrument for woodwind saxophone players who want to play like a tuba.
BARITONE A device for doubling with trombones except using the right notes. Also used for playing during silence.
BASS CLARINETA concert instrument that, when used properly, is still not heard.
BASSOON An unusual hybrid between a bass clarinet and oboe which remains unused in marching.
BATHROOM OF DOOM An object designed to REALLY get to know the people (and their characteristic smells) in the back of the bus.
BELL-FRONT INSTRUMENT Always brass, these are directional instruments designed to play extremely loud.
BI-SECTIONAL The term given to one who plays different instruments for different ensembles.
BONFIRE A device for celebrating the use of a dot book, drill, and music.
BRAIN FART A mistake involving an escape of gaseous substances from the head usually in conjunction with missing a set.
BRASS Metallic looking and sounding devices designed to over-blow and blast.
BUS 1. A good way to get to know someone (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, if you know what I mean), however the most painful way in the world to watch a movie. Also known for the Bathroom of Doom.
2. The only way to see a pigeon at 65 MPH.
CADENCE Sexiness. Good time for band section visuals and random yelling
CAMP STAFF Parent leaders of band camp. They organize the week and act as counselors in the cabins.
CAPTAIN Leader of a section who tries to keep their section out of complete chaos in order to make themselves look good. Often given to people who don't want the job.
CARDS 52 rectangular devices of equal size and width which each have respective numbers, symbols, and colors on them which keep percussionists entertained.
CIRCLE A closed shape with definite corners and edges.
CLARINET A device which, when used properly, will cause the user's shoulders to point towards the end-zone.
COLLAR Something thy hair shalt never toucheth.
COLOR-GUARD People who swing flags and toss rifles to distract the audience's attention away from the band. Makes the band seem better. Get extra credit if they hit (accidentally, of course) a band member, yet denied if they hit a field judge.
COMPETITION A general gathering of band geeks to show that each ones band is better than the others.
CONCERT Extremely dangerous form of torture for both students and audience. Fatal if used in duration exceeding one hour.
CONDUCTING The Drum Major's method of amusing the band to points of laughter at times.
CONDUCTOR The person in the front who waves his arms and dances wildly to the music. Constantly marks time during halts.
CONTRA A tuba that is snapped onto and off of the player's shoulder. Designed to build up arm muscles and decrease brain activity. Name was chosen for being sexier than "Sousaphone."
CONTRA BASS CLARINET A large, metallic, clarinet-like instrument that is designed to play in the range of a tuba, but is often mistaken for the kitchen sink.
DCI Drum corps championship series. Extremely rough comparison: If Fleming is a train, DCI is a Lambourghini.
DEATH MARCH The direct result of a Christmas parade in 20 degree weather.
DIRECTOR God for band members.
DOLLAR BILL A device for cleaning saxophone pads.
DOOR A spontaneously located area of the band room. A portal to the “other world” (Practice field)
DOT BOOK A small notebook to be kept in pocket that has complex drawings and strange numbers that people say are their spots for each picture. Designed to keep people from learning music.
DOUBLE REED A good way to make a band member's face look like they just ate a lemon.
DR. BEAT For our school, Mr. Wright armed with a Cowbell. A form of cruel and unusual punishment (violation of the 8th Amendment) that is bestowed over a loudspeaker when working on already-learned music.
DRILL Pages that show what a form is supposed to look like. Should be burned at year's end.
DRILL-DOWN When band geeks follow long sets of commands from the drum major, just to see who can do it, in an attempt at fun. It is only "fun" when this name is used, however, not during rehearsal.
DRUM CAPTAIN The leader of the percussion section who's main requirement for the job is to ignore all the talking going on in the section.
DRUM CORPS Very similar to marching band, except for a few differences: 1)They are good. 2)No woodwinds.
DRUM-TAP A snare beat loud enough for the judges to hear, and quiet enough so band doesn't hear.
DRUM-LINE The people hitting the drums (or each other) with sticks in time with each other, but either a half beat earlier or later than the band and one beat from the pit.
DRUM Round hollow devices with covering on the top and sometimes the bottom. Loud.
DYNAMICS Either loud or louder (volume).
EARLY To never be. Reasoning: To be early is to be on time, while to be on time is to be late, but to be late is to never be. Following this through, early is to never be.
ECHO What a band geek should hear after a good cut-off.
EXPONENTIAL GROWTH The mathematical reasoning behind the fact that when one flute graduates, two new freshmen take her place.
F.C.P.L. A brass dynamic marking that stands for "Forget Control - Play Loud!"
FIELD 100 yards in length, this is a wide expanse of concrete and paint on which bands perform. Contained within the area of this expanse are two basketball courts, with random patches of grass.
FLUTE A device for people who want to be in the band who have weak arms and don't wish to be heard.
FOOD "Fuel" for band geeks. Is an attacker of performance uniforms, but can still be eaten (in secrecy) in this state of being.
FOOTBALL TEAM The main reason the band can't always use the marching field.
FORMER BAND GEEK The name given to a person who was in band, quit, and now returns (usually with food) to rehearsals to watch just for fun. Ex: George, Caleb
FORTE The lowest dynamic marking a brass instrument can play at.
FRENCH HORN Only brass instrument that is played with left hand. Involves strings in conjunction with valves and an impossibility to play fast or loud.
FRESHMEN Designed to make up half the size of the band. sigh
FRESHMAN INITIATION A form of entertainment to all alumni/upper-classmen.
FUND-RAISERS Opportunities provided throughout the year for the adult staff to yell at band members while making a few extra bucks on the side. Results of these are used to double standard teacher's salary.
GEEKDOM The state of a band member who is willing to give up all free time during season.
GEEKISM Something that is related to marching band which spontaneously happens (such as walking with friends down the hall in step or whistling warm-ups or scales without thinking about it).
GONG A loud, large cymbal-like device. It is the goal of all good percussionists to break or crack this instrument in any way possible.
GRADUATED BAND GEEK Someone who no longer attends the school or is over-age for a drum corps., so he is no longer in the band or corps.
HALT A time when everyone is theoretically stopped.
HARMONY All voices except the melody and percussion.
HELL Inferno, Saturday rehearsals, and camp food.
HORN-POP A method the keep the pit from going completely deaf when brass instruments pass directly behind them by pointing bells toward the sky. Not recommended for flutes or clarinets.
INFERNO The practice field during the summer.
INSTRUCTOR Person who tells you when you're screwing up.
INSTRUMENT A device used for torture.
INTERVAL A space between two band members that is as random as "Gavorkna"'s tempo.
IQ A constant combined number that does not changes as the size of the band does.
KEYBOARD The layout of most pit instruments.
LAPS An alternate to 'shups, although not as effective.
MALLET Something which can only be thrown by upperclassman.
MARCHING BARITONE A version of a baritone created based on enhancements over the successful design of a Marching French Horn.
MARCHING SHOES Ugly, comfy, extremely expensive footwear.
MARK-TIME A time when people only move their feet (without changing location) to some tempo, usually "to the beat of a different drum." NO PICKING UP YOUR FEET!!!
MELLOPHONE A tunable version of a marching French horn (is there such a thing?) used by drum corps and many schools. Based on a trumpet design.
MELODY The loudest voice, usually carried by the trumpets, flutes, and piccolos.
MEMORIZATION An action that is supposed to take place in conjunction with sets and music between band camp and the commencement of the regular year, but does not generally happen for certain people.
MEZZO-FORTE The ACTUAL highest dynamic marking of any woodwind excluding the piccolo.
MISTING The meteorological term that the adult staff use for saying, "It's raining, but we don't give a #@$*."
MOUTHPIECE A critical piece to a brass instrument which is meant to be dropped or thrown onto grass, loud stages, and/or sometimes mud if not forgotten. Droppage of this device often results in 'shups. Also an attractant of lawn mowers.
MOVIES The other way to keep busy on the bus, a major contributing factor to amusement at band parties along with capture-the-flag.
MUSIC 1. Papers which contain little black lines and dots with strange symbols that somehow show what the music is to sound like. 2. The succession of these notes that, in theory, should sound good. Unfortunately, we're not all in Theory - we're in Marching Band.
NOTES 1. Little round dots on lines that show the approximate pitch that the instrument player tries to hit.
2. The language of music, similar to "BASIC," "Pascal," or "C" for computers.
NUMBER A, NUMBER B, ETC. A non-linear form of counting invented by Mr. Wright.
OBOE A double-reed instrument used for obtaining a clarinet sound in a piccolo range.
ON TIME To never be. See reasoning for early.
PARADE-REST A form of relaxation while standing up. Little talking, but some required to keep band geeks sane.
PEDAL A low vibration tone produced by brass instruments when jaw is loosened. Noise is sometimes mistaken for the conventional brain fart.
PENCIL TEST A test designed to terrify slacking band members.
PEP BAND An ensemble that goes to basketball games with the sole purpose of embarrassing themselves. Slouching, sitting around, and eating is allowed.
PERCUSSION 1. The group of instruments hit by sticks or mallets that keeps some beat or other. 2. The group that messes up the most.
PIANO A term that means play softly. Not known to brass players, and not possible for flutes.
PICCOLO A high-pitched instrument similar to that of the flute, only you can actually hear it. Should only be one, due to horrible, HORRIBLE intonation.
PICCOLO TRUMPET An instrument designed to do the same job as a trumpet with some minor enhancements - since it's an octave higher.
PIT Percussion instruments that have pitches (like a piano) that play either half a beat earlier or later than the band, opposite of the drum line.
PLUME The most dangerous part of the full uniform because of it's flammability: Can only be applied by another band member, usually an upperclassman.
POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE A painful form of obligation by every band geek during three of their four years in high school. An extremely useful and effective form of torture for underclassmen.
PRACTICE The constant repetition of a sequence of notes in an unsuccessful attempt to become skilled. Usually drives family members either away from home or insane.
PRACTICE GLOVES A natural method of scientific proof that there are two types of dirt: Dark dirt that is attracted to light objects and light dirt which is attracted to dark objects!
PSEUDO-GEEK Somebody who isn't in band but thinks he is. Attends band parties, competitions, and rehearsals. This is not to be confused with a former band geek, or graduated band geek. See also wannabe band geek.
PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION (P.D.A.) A touchy (literally), debatable subject among band geeks. Something that happens regardless of what rules exist or peer pressure is made on people. Something that happens on the bus, in the stands, during water breaks, before and after rehearsals, during lunch and dinner breaks, on the Band Table, at Band Parties, and just about anywhere else where the rest of the band is forced to watch a couple be disgustingly cutesy together. (Band incest)
RAIN Nature's way of telling the band to go inside and practice music.
REED 1. A piece of wood that makes a great excuse for not playing well if broken or brand new. Usage's: "Sorry, new reed," or "I broke my reed." 2. A device used to efficiently cut one's finger.
REHEARSAL Time used by band geeks to forget anything learned during practice.
RESETTING Definitions vary by sections. Woodwind: Wander aimlessly for 3 minutes and talk quietly. Brass: Run as fast as you can back to your set yelling at the top of your lungs and slipping in the mud then doing pushups. Battery: Wander and swear as you walk slowly back to your set. Colorguard: Prance back to your set and avoid getting hit by stupid, yelling brass players. Pit: Sit there and laugh your @$$ off while you watch this 3 minutes of confusion.
RIFLE 1. A white-colored piece of wood used by the color guard that is intended for injury of band or color guard members and breakage of nails.
2. An impressive show of arm strength and coordination by the guard. Unfortunately, live ammunition is not granted as well.
ROLL-STEP Method in which a geek should walk if his shoes are round on the bottom. Not bouncing.
SABRE†† A piece of color-guard equipment which the guard prefers over rifles and is also more dangerous. Coincidence?
SENIOR A source of constant guilt trips.
SFZ-PIANO-CRESCENDO The act of blatting, stopping, then blasting.
SHOW COORDINATOR Person who creates and draws all of the inanimate useless objects that the band attempts to form.
'SHUPS Sometimes called "pushups," these you do when something goes wrong due to you. Usually done in increments or multiples of ten or fifteen. Designed as a method of self-discipline.
SITTING-AROUND An action carried out when sitting on busses on in sands, in which band members rely on perpetual motion to keep from sitting in the same place for more than 30 seconds.
SLOUCHING An action best displayed by the Pep Band and concert bands. Even if it's bad for playing, it's great for the back!
SLOW What only a few people can accomplish during the song “Lollipop”.
SNAP Instantly changing a horn's position from attention to 'horns up' or vice-versa. Havoc for someone in front of a snapped instrument.
SOUSAPHONE An instrument that adds bass to the band. Can play any note as long as it's a low G.
SPACE-CHORD A chord that our band could never accomplish, but Mr. Wright would like us to attempt.
SPAM An artificial meat substance that almost sounds appetizing after band camp's food.
SPRINKLER(S) An offensive attacker of the pit and color guard.
SQUEAK The only time you can hear a saxaphone.
STAFF Adult leaders who arrange music, write drill, etc., but do not perform in order to avoid embarrassment from their own creations. Not to be confused with camp staff.
STANDBY A position that's like attention, only with the head down. Usually called to attention with the word “Pride.”
STANDING What most instrument players do at band camp. Flutes do not accomplish this feat due to their weak legs (in most cases). There are a few exceptions to this weakness, but they don't stand anyway.
SET A term freshman frequently misunderstand as "time to talk", it actually means to shut up and get into either attention or standby.
SUSPENDERS The most effective way to strangle a band geek while still keeping their pants up.
TELEPHONE A communication device that is not allowed in band practice, unless it belongs to one of the Wright's.
TEMPO The correct beat, usually (but not always) carried by the conductor.
TENOR-SAXOPHONE An instrument similar to the bari-saxophone, except it matches the pitch of a trombone or baritone. Generally played by some form of a creeper/stalker.
SUMMER UNIFORM Consists of a white shirt, blue jeans, white shoes, and a pile of potato chips and other junk in your lap. This torturous device (it is unanimously agreed upon that the full uniform is better) is inflicted during bus travel, or when underclassman don't turn in their dues on time.
TRUMPET An instrument that is designed to make a band sound better. The idea is that if the trumpets play loud enough, you can't hear the rest of the band, so only the trumpets' mistakes are heard, not everyone else's. 2. Also known as the “wannabe God” of band.
TROMBONE A device with the same pitch as a baritone, except that it uses a slide instead of valves, so it's easier to forget the position(s).
TUNE What the condition when all instruments are within half a step of each other is called.
VACUUM MAN A band member who has nothing better to do on A-days than wake up and come to school early to vacuum the band room (GEORGE.). Form of payment: Starbuck's hot chocolate.
VALVE A key object on most brass instruments that sticks only during important performances and solos.
VALVE OIL Exquisitely tasteful with a twist of lemon. A form of currency for brass players. Most important ingredient to a beverage known as "Valve Oil Daiquiri."
VIBE, The: A frequent occurrence after long exposure to fellow Band Geeks during intense competitions or rehearsals, usually resulting in obsessive compulsive behavior directed towards the band. Know effects are few and are rarely, if ever, reversible. Believed by some to be a sign of mental illness. Scientists are stumped, and frankly, don't care why it occurs.
VISUAL A way of keeping marching band members busy during a show. Extra credit received if used against an on-field judge.
WANNABE BAND GEEK Someone who hangs out with true band geeks.
WATER BREAK An excuse for doing headstands on the field or playing hacky-sack.
WOODWINDS 1. The sexiest group ever.
2. The way God made himself known to the universe.
YELLING An expressive way of trying to prove that one is more committed than the next person. This is a self-destructive way of spending any rehearsal, yet we seem to continue in this practice more and more. This is often connected with "the vibe" and being intense.
